Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the final termination of a marital union, cancelling
the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony
between the parties.  In most countries divorce requires the sanction of a court or other
authority in a legal process.  The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of
spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt.

In Western countries, a divorce does not declare a marriage null and void, as in an
annulment, but it does cancel the married status of the parties ......

In most jurisdictions, a divorce must be certified by a court of law to become effective.  The
terms of the divorce are usually determined by the court, though they may take into account
prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses
may have agreed to privately.  In the absence of agreement, a contested divorce may be
stressful to the spouses and lead to expensive litigation.  Less adversarial approaches to
divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce,
which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts.
Getting Through A Divorce
Getting through a divorce does not only entail the paperwork; it involves all of your
emotions, good or bad.  You are soon to be separating from a life you once new and felt
comfortable with (for better or worse) to something of the unknown.  You will soon be
stepping over into a new threshold; a new dimension in your life.

During this time:
~~  You will need to know how to handle your roller coaster of emotions
~~  Gain knowledge on how to handle the physical tension
~~  Be civil to your spouse, especially if children are involved
~~  Never use your children as leverage; you can emotionally harm them
~~  Let your children know that they are not the cause of the divorce
~~  Stay calm in court or the consequences may cause you more grief.  Many
   that are said in haste and out of anger can not be undone and may have
   negative consequences especially in custody cases
~~  Ask for support from those friends that you can trust but keep to the same
   gender as yourself in order to not emotionally complicate the situation
~~  Thoroughly read and understand everything before you sign those papers;
   ignorance due to not reading and understanding can cause future problems.
   If in doubt, ask.
~~  Use "your honor" as a respectful way when speaking to the judge
~~  Dress in a respectful manner; remember impressions do count; professional
   attire is most appropriate
~~  Stay away from bars and a fast night life; this is not the answer to your current
   emotional situation
~~  Drugs are also not the answer
~~  Journal about your emotions and any concerns
~~  Take care of your health
~~  Seek a licensed professional counselor to help keep you grounded
Divorce Recovery
The pain is real, so don't deny it, instead deal with it in a healthy appropriate way.  Fact,
there will be many changes in your new life, little ones and big ones.  It will not be the
situation that you encounter, but how you handle it, that will make all the difference in
your life.  The question to ask yourself is not "do I need healing?" but "what areas do I
need healed?"  How pro-active you are will determine your success.

Here are some suggestions to help you in your recovery:
<>  One day at a time; there's enough in that one day; no need to bite off more
<>  Stick to one job at a time;don't put more on your plate than you can handle
<>  The word "no" is not a bad word; try using it at times when stressed or when
   you are getting too much on your plate
<>  Do the next right thing; no one's perfect
<>  Don't get upset over what you don't have or you may waste what you do have
<>  Keep your sense of humor and use it generously
<>  Listen to your body
<>  Believe that life is worth living
<>  Don't wait for a good day, make one
<>  Don't get stuck; forgive yourself, release the past and move forward
<>  Set realistic goals and use patience in achieving them
<>  Walking away from something that is bad for you is not quitting!
<>  Give yourself time to grieve
<>  Focus on the present, not the past or future
<>  What you do today may have a profound impact on your life tomorrow;
    think clearly before you act or react
<>  "Time out" is not just for children
<>  Appreciate and be grateful for all the help you get along the way
<>  Understand that your children are grieving too and their behavior may
   reflect this
<>  You will have plenty of time to socialize with the opposite sex but now is not
    the time
<>  At an appropriate time and place, crying is okay and it is not just for the gals
<>  Address your anger issues; unresolved anger hurts you and those you love
<>  Redefine your family relationships
<>  Seek a licensed professional counselor to help you work through your
Divorce Recovery for Children
Divorce can have an adverse effect on your children.  They are feeling the emotional
impact too and their lives will be forever changed.  Anger is a major emotion for
children at this time. If your child is not angry on the outside he/she may be
internalizing this emotion which may end up being more destructive in the long run.  
Depression, substance abuse, and physical sickness can arise if your child's anger is
turned inward.

Here are some suggestions to help them make a healthier transition:
The Light At The End OF The
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
++  Do not vent your anger and frustration over the divorce and your
ex-spouse in
   front of your child
++  Hold family meetings as often as necessary in order to address your child's
   feelings, behavior, and other concerns; have positive meetings
++  If your child is old enough, teach him/her how to do journal writing
++  Try not to separate your child from their friends; children need a support
   system too
++  Help your child to recognize and cope with his/her feelings
++  Don't play monkey-in-the-middle with your children; they should not have to
    choose which parent gets their loyalty
++  Your children are not your messenger service to your ex-spouse
++  Explain to your children that the divorce was not their fault and that they
   not fix it; remind them of this periodically
++  Help them to realize that they are not supposed to fill the void that the
   ex-spouse has left
++  Set family rules
++  Be a parent
++  Explain that though it may seem chaotic and frightening, things will
   settle down
++  Be available when they need to talk and LISTEN before you put your
   mouth in gear
++  Your children are not your confidants; let them be children
++  Seek a licensed professional counselor to help them through their
Collaborative Law
Collaborative Law (also called Collaborative Practice, Collaborative Divorce, and
Collaborative Family Law) is a family law process enabling couples who have decided to
separate or end their marriage to work with their lawyers and, on occasion, other family
professionals* in order to avoid the uncertain outcome of Court and to achieve a
settlement that best meets the specific needs of both parties and their children without
the underlying threat of contested litigation.  The volntary process is initiated when the
couple signs a contract (the Participation Agreement), binding each other to the process
and disqualifying their respective lawyer's right to represent either one in any future
family related litigation.......

Collaborative divorce may not be a viable option in certain situations.  If there is active
domestic violence, drug or alcohol addiction, serious untreated mental illness, or an
intention to hurt the other party emotionally or financially, traditional litigation or
arbitration may be more appropriate.

* one neutral mental health professional and one neutral financial professional

Collaborative law
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
If you are contemplating divorce, in the middle of a divorce, or are now divorced, don't let
depression, loneliness, guilt, anger, or other negative emotions keep you or your family from a healthy
and happy future life.

"Don't let the fear of fear," keep you from calling for your consultation session.  Call today to get the
confidential and affordable help and support you deserve.  Salary and economic situation are
guidelines for session fee.

Explore the possibilities; call now for your private appointment at  972-466-3630.